Ukuzulazula ekuhlukeni kwesifiso socansi se-libido ephezulu kanye nabalingani abaphansi be-libido kuyinselele imibhangqwana eminingi ebhekana nayo ngesikhathi esithile ebudlelwaneni babo. Lokhu kungafani kwezifiso, uma kuyekwa kungalungiswa, kungasuka esisekelweni sokusondelana nokuxhumana. Esiqeshini se-15 se Umhlahlandlela Wokuvikela Uthando I-podcast, uKim noKyle bangena ezixazululweni ezisebenzayo zokusiza abalingani bothando abaphansi be-libido babuyisele ukusondelana futhi bakhuthaze ubudlelwano bocansi obunempilo, obuphumelelayo.
Lesi isiqephu sesi-3 sochungechunge lwethu oluncane mayelana nokungafani kwezifiso.
- Isiqephu 11: Umehluko Wesifiso: Ungabuvuselela Kanjani Ukuxhumana Kwezocansi Ebudlelwaneni Besikhathi Eside
- Isiqephu 14: I-Desire Discrepancy Demystified: Ungaphumelela Kanjani Nge-Libido Ephakeme
Kulesi siqephu sizohlola izinselele ezibalulekile ezivamise ukuhambisana ne-low libido, kanye nezixazululo ezisebenzayo zokukusiza wena nozakwenu nizule kulezi zinkinga.
Inselele Yokungafani Kwesifiso Se-Low Libido Partner
Inani Lomzwelo Lokuzizwa “Ungaphansi” Ekusondelaneni Ngokocansi
Kuzakwethu one-libido ephansi, kuvamile ukuba azizwe enganele noma sengathi kukhona okungahambi kahle kuye ngenxa yokugcizelela komphakathi ekusebenzeni kocansi kanye nesifiso esiphezulu esingaholela ekubeni necala, ukungavikeleki, ngisho namahloni. Imvamisa, umlingani onesifiso esiphansi uqala ukufaka le mizwa ngaphakathi, ecabanga ukuthi abekho ocansini ngokwanele noma ukuthi bahluleka umlingani wabo ngandlela thize.
I-Podcast Insight:
UKyle noKim bagcizelela ukuthi ukuzizwa “ungaphansi kuno” kuyinto evamile kubantu abane-libido ephansi, kodwa kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi isifiso sobulili siyashintshashintsha futhi siyahlukahluka ngenxa yezizathu ezihlukahlukene. I-libido ephansi akusho ukuthi uphukile. Eqinisweni, uKim ugqamisa ukuthi isifiso esiphansi ngokuvamile siyimpendulo evamile ezinkingeni zokuphila, futhi kubalulekile ukususa le ndaba ibe eyokuzihawukela nokuqonda.
Ingcindezi njengekhefu elivusa inkanuko
Izwe lanamuhla lidinga ukunakwa njalo, ukukhiqiza, nokugxila. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukuphatha izikhathi ezimisiwe zomsebenzi, izibopho zasekhaya, noma izibopho zomndeni, abantu abaningi bahlale bebambeke emakhanda abo, bezama ukuhlanganisa yonke into ngesikhathi esisodwa. Lo “mthwalo wengqondo” ungaba isithiyo esibalulekile esifisweni socansi, usebenze “njengekhefu elivusa inkanuko” elivimbela i-libido. Kumuntu one-libido ephansi, ingcindezi yokushintsha usuka ekukhiqizeni uye ebudlelwaneni obuseduze ingaba ushintsho olunzima.
I-Podcast Insight:
UKyle uchaza ukuthi “ukucindezeleka nomthwalo wengqondo kuyimbangela enkulu ekunciphiseni inkanuko yobulili.” Ozakwethu abanesifiso esiphansi bavame ukuba nokuningi kakhulu epuletini labo, okwenza kube nzima ukuphumula nokuba khona ukuze basondelane. Uma usesimweni esiqhubekayo sokukhiqiza, sincane isikhala esisele sokuvela kwesifiso.
Izixazululo Eziphansi ze-Libido: Izinyathelo Zokuvuselela Isifiso
Uma wena noma umlingani wakho nizabalaza ne-libido ephansi, kunezinyathelo ezingokoqobo ongazithatha ukuze wakhe kabusha ukusondelana nokudala indawo lapho isifiso singachuma khona. UKim noKyle baxoxa ngezixazululo ezimbalwa ezibalulekile eziphansi ze-libido ku- Umhlahlandlela Wokuvikela Uthando i-podcast engasiza izithandani ziphinde zixhumane ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba.
1. Dala Isikhala Sokungakhiqizi
Esinye sezixazululo ezinamandla kakhulu ze-low libido ukwenza isikhathi samabomu semisebenzi engakhiqizi. Ezweni eliklomelisa ukukhiqiza, kubalulekile ukubala izikhathi lapho ungase ube khona, uphumule, futhi ujabulele ukuphila ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngomsebenzi olandelayo. Lesi sikhala yilapho ukusondelana nesifiso kungase kuqale ukukhula.
I-Podcast Insight:
UKyle uxoxa ngokuthi isikhathi esingakhiqizi sivame ukuba yisithako esishodayo kanjani emibhangqwaneni elwa nokungafani kwezifiso. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukuhamba ngezinyawo, ukujabulela inkomishi yekhofi, noma ukuhlala ngaphandle ngaphandle kwe-ajenda, lezi zikhathi zivumela ingqondo nomzimba wakho ukuthi uphumule, okudala isikhala ukuze ukuphaphama kwakho kuphinde kuvuke. “Ngisho nento encane njengokuphuza ikhofi lakho ingakusiza uphinde uxhumane nomzimba wakho,” kuchaza uKyle.
2. Beka Ubumnandi Eqhulwini, Hhayi Ukusebenza
Esinye isisombululo esibalulekile esiphansi se-libido sisusa ukugxila ekusebenzeni kwezocansi kuya ekujabuleleni. Abantu abaningi abane-libido ephansi bazizwa becindezelwe ukuthi bahlangabezane nezimfuneko ezithile zocansi, noma ngabe ukuvama noma ukuqina. Lokhu kucindezela kwandisa kuphela inkinga, okuholela ekukhathazekeni nokuncipha okwengeziwe kwesifiso. Kusidonsela emakhanda ethu, kunasemizweni esiba nayo emizimbeni yethu. Kunalokho, imibhangqwana kufanele ibeke phambili okuhlangenwe nakho okujabulisayo, kokubili ngaphakathi nangaphandle kwekamelo lokulala.
I-Podcast Insight:
UKim ugcizelela ukubaluleka kokuthola injabulo ngezikhathi ezincane, zansuku zonke. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukuphulula inja yakho, ukujabulela ukushona kwelanga, noma ukuhlanganyela ekuthinteni okungezona ezocansi nozakwenu, ukuphinde uhlangane nomuzwa wenjabulo kungasiza ukubuyisela umzimba wakho esikhathini samanje futhi kubeke isisekelo sokuvusa inkanuko. UKim uthi: “Ukuzijabulisa akudingekile ukuba kube ubulili ukuze kubuse isifiso.
3. Buyisela I-Identity Yakho Evusa Inkanuko
Kulabo abane-libido ephansi, ukubuyisa umuzwa wobuzwe obuvusa inkanuko kubalulekile. Lokhu kubandakanya ukuzibuza ukuthi yini ekwenza uzizwe umnandi futhi unamandla, futhi uthole izindlela zokuxhumana naleyo nguqulo yakho. Ubuwena obuvusa inkanuko akugcini nje ngokuphathelene nocansi—kumayelana nokuzizwa uqiniseka, ukhanga, futhi uvumelana nomzimba wakho.
I-Podcast Insight:
UKim uchaza ukuthi ukubuyisela ubuwena obuvusa inkanuko kuqala kanjani ngezinyathelo ezincane, njengokuthola ingubo ekwenza uzizwe ujabule noma ukuzibandakanya emisebenzini ethuthukisa ukuzethemba kwakho. “Zibuze ukuthi yini ekwenza uzizwe umnandi futhi uzethemba,” uyeluleka. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukugqoka okuthile okukwenza uzizwe unamandla noma ukuthatha isikhathi sokuzinakekela, ukuzinakekela lolu hlangothi lwakho kuyisihluthulelo sokubusa isifiso.
4. Xhumana Futhi Ubeke Imingcele
Esinye isisombululo esibalulekile esiphansi se-libido ukuxhumana okucacile phakathi kwabalingani. Ukuxoxa ngezidingo zakho, izifiso, kanye nemingcele kungasiza ekunciphiseni ingcindezi yokwenza futhi kudale indawo yokuzijabulisa. Ukubeka imingcele emsebenzini, imithwalo yemfanelo, ngisho nokusondelana kungasiza ekwakheni indawo yengqondo nengokomzwelo edingekayo ukugqugquzela isifiso.
I-Podcast Insight:
UKyle ukhuthaza imibhangqwana ukuba ixoxisane ngokukhululekile ngomthwalo wengqondo owuthwele kanye nendlela okuthinta ngayo ukusondelana. Ukubeka imingcele, njengokuhlela isikhathi sokuphumula noma ukuvumelana ngokuthintwa okungezona ezocansi, kungasiza ukwehlisa ingcindezi evame ukuhambisana nesifiso sokungafani. Lokhu kudala indawo enempilo lapho bobabili ozakwethu bengazizwa bephephile futhi bexhumekile.
Ukwakha Ubudlelwano Obuxhumene Kakhudlwana, Obuseduze
Umehluko wesifiso wudaba oluyinkimbinkimbi, kodwa yilolo olungaxazululwa ngamasu alungile kanye nengqondo. Kozakwethu abane-libido ephansi, bangakwazi ukufaka isandla ekusondelaneni okujabulisayo ngokudala indawo yesikhathi esingakhiqizi, ukubeka phambili injabulo, kanye nokubuyisela ubunikazi babo obuvusa inkanuko, bangaqala ukunqoba ukungezwani kwesifiso nomlingani wabo futhi bakhe ubudlelwano obanelisayo, obuseduze. .
Lesi isiqephu sesi-3 sochungechunge lwethu oluncane mayelana nokungafani kwezifiso.
- Isiqephu 11: Umehluko Wesifiso: Ungabuvuselela Kanjani Ukuxhumana Kwezocansi Ebudlelwaneni Besikhathi Eside
- Isiqephu 14: I-Desire Discrepancy Demystified: Ungaphumelela Kanjani Nge-Libido Ephakeme
Sekela umsebenzi wami: Ngithengele ikhofi
Lalela iziqephu ezedlule:
I-FAQ: Inselele Yokungafani Kwesifiso Kuzakwethu We-Libido Ephansi
1. Kuyini umehluko wesifiso?
Ukwehluka kwezifiso kusho ukungafani kwezifiso zocansi noma i-libido phakathi kwabalingani, lapho umlingani oyedwa engase abe nesifiso esiphezulu sokusondelana ngokocansi kunomunye.
2. Kungani ngizizwa “ngingaphansi” ngenxa ye-libido yami ephansi?
Umphakathi uvame ukugcizelela kakhulu ukusebenza kocansi nesifiso, okungenza abantu abanezinkanuko eziphansi bazizwe bengafaneleki, benecala, noma sengathi kukhona okungalungile ngabo. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi i-libido ephansi iyimpendulo evamile futhi ngokuvamile yesikhashana kukucindezeleka kokuphila, hhayi iphutha lomuntu siqu.
3. Ukucindezeleka kusithinta kanjani isifiso socansi?
Ukucindezeleka nomthwalo wengqondo kungasebenza “njengekhefu elivusa inkanuko” elicindezela i-libido. Uma ulokhu ujikijela imithwalo yemfanelo futhi uzizwa ukhungathekile, kuba nzima ukuphumula futhi ube khona ebudlelwaneni obuseduze, obuthinta isifiso ngokuqondile.
4. Yiziphi ezinye izinyathelo ezisebenzayo zokubhekana ne-libido ephansi?
Amasu amaningana angasiza ukuvuselela isifiso nokwakha kabusha ukusondelana:
- Dala isikhala sokungakhiqizi: Zinike isikhathi sokuphumula futhi ujabulele imisebenzi ngaphandle kokugxila emisebenzini.
- Beka phambili injabulo kunokusebenza: Gxila kulokho okujabulisayo kunokuhlangabezana nokulindelwe ocansini.
- Thola futhi ubuwena obuvusa inkanuko: Zibandakanye emisebenzini ekwenza uzizwe uqiniseka futhi unamandla.
- Xhumana futhi ubeke imingcele: Xoxisanani ngokukhululekile ngezidingo, imingcele, kanye nendlela umthwalo wengqondo owuthinta ngayo ukusondelana.
5. Isikhathi esingakhiqizi singasiza kanjani nge-libido ephansi?
Isikhathi esingakhiqizi, njengokuhamba ngezinyawo noma ukujabulela isikhathi esithulile, sivumela ingqondo nomzimba wakho ukuthi uphumule. Lesi sikhathi sokuphumula sibalulekile ekudaleni indawo lapho ukusondelana nesifiso kungakhula ngokwemvelo.
6. Kungani kubalulekile ukubeka injabulo kuqala kunokudlala ocansini?
Ukugxila enjabulweni kuthatha ingcindezi ekusebenzeni kocansi, okuvame ukudala ukukhathazeka. Ukujabulela okuhlangenwe nakho okujabulisayo—kungaba ezocansi noma okungezona ezocansi—kusiza ukuxhumana nomzimba wakho futhi kungavuselela isifiso.
7. Ngingabubuyisa kanjani ubuwena obuvusa inkanuko uma ngine-libido ephansi?
Qala ngokukhomba imisebenzi, okokugqoka, noma izenzo ezikwenza uzizwe uqiniseka futhi uhehe. Ukubuyisela ubuwena obuvusa inkanuko kuhilela ukuzizwa unamandla futhi uxhumene nomzimba wakho, okudlala indima ebalulekile ekulawuleni isifiso.
8. Imibhangqwana ingakhulumisana kanjani ngokuphumelelayo ngokungafani kwezifiso?
Ukuxhumana okucacile mayelana nezidingo zocansi, umthwalo wengqondo, nemingcele kusiza ukunciphisa ingcindezi. Ngokuxoxa ngalokhu ngokukhululekile, ozakwethu bangakha indawo ephephile lapho ukusondelana kungachuma ngaphandle kokulindela ukusebenza.
9. Ingabe i-libido ephansi ingalungiswa ngobusuku bonke?
I-libido ephansi iyinkimbinkimbi futhi ithonywa izici eziningi ezifana nokucindezeleka, impilo, nokuxhumana ngokomzwelo. Nakuba ekhona amasu okuthuthukisa isifiso, kuthatha isikhathi nokuxhumana okuvulekile phakathi kozakwethu ukubhekana nenkinga ngempumelelo.
10. Ukuzihawukela kudlala yiphi indima ekulawuleni i-libido ephansi?
Ukuzihawukela kubalulekile. Esikhundleni sokuzizwa unecala noma uphukile, qaphela ukuthi i-libido ephansi ngokuvamile iyimpendulo yokucindezeleka nezimo zokuphila. Ukuba nomusa kuwe kungasiza ekudambiseni ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo futhi kuvumele isikhala sesifiso sokubuya.
11. Ingabe ukuthinta okungezona ezocansi kungasiza nge-low libido?
Yebo, ukuthinta okungezona ezocansi—njengokubambana ngezandla, ukugona, noma ukubhucungwa—kungakhuthaza ukusondelana ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba. Lokhu kungakha isisekelo sokuvuselela isifiso sobulili kamuva.
12. Ukubeka imingcele kusiza kanjani nge-libido ephansi?
Ukubeka imingcele ecacile mayelana nomsebenzi, imithwalo yemfanelo, nokusondelana kwakha indawo yengqondo nengokomzwelo yokuphumula. Lokhu kungadambisa ingcindezi futhi kusize ozakwethu bazizwe bexhumene kakhulu futhi betholakalela ukusondelana.
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